1. Feeding
2. Sleeping
3. Love
4. Diapering
This relates very closely to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. These facts did not surprise me; what did however, is all the theories, debates, and instincts that go into helping your baby fulfill all of their basic needs. You have a plethora of choices and ways to fulfill these needs, which is again, daunting!
Feeding:
There are two main extreme theories to feeding your baby; demand-feeding or rigid scheduling. Demand-feeding means every time your baby cries, feed them! Rigid scheduling is you keep to a very strict schedule and only feed him when the clock tells you to. The theory I like best is in the middle of the two extremes. It is called BabyWise. This theory was suggested to me by a mother at the school I teach at, and she convinced me to read the book simply because she has happy, content children.
My disclaimer: I do not plan to follow any one theory blindly but allow God to develop my instincts and use these theories to be knowledgeable to what my unique Micah needs. Also, Micah is not here and I am merely planning, this could fall through the cracks.
Basically, in my own words, BabyWise combines flexible scheduling with parental assessment. This means that you establish a routine within the bounds of lovingly providing your baby with food by using parental assessment and common instincts instead of following the clock blindly. It puts a huge emphasis on not allowing your baby to "snack" throughout the day, but be very intentional about getting full meals at every feeding. Full feedings ensure that baby receives appropriate nutrition from the better-caloric milk that comes only from breastfeeding for an appropriate amount of time each session.
In theory, if you intentionally give full meals, baby will naturally fall in a hunger cycle that is developmentally appropriate, which promotes better sleeping and more content and happy awake times. Wouldn't any mother want that?
Sleeping:
Babywise scheduling promotes better sleeping patterns. Within the first two months, baby should be sleeping through most of the night according to this book. The big debate is; do you ever allow your baby to cry themselves to sleep or do you not allow that emotional trauma? Depends why they are crying. The book goes into how to decipher and read their cries. I would be willing to let him cry himself to sleep only under extreme conditions that require us to endure that heart-break for the better good for him in the long-run.
***One thing I have learned from teaching: You HAVE to do what is better for little ones instead of what is easier at the moment. Doing what is best for them can be extremely heart-breaking and hard to do, but the best long-term outcome will be worth it!
Love:
Bonding is essential. Silly songs and cuddling are the things I am looking forward to the most. We already talk to Micah a lot in the womb, and silly songs are already being formed to sing to him :) I read over and over again how important it is to stimulate your baby with faces, touch, and your voice. They come out of the womb already knowing the Mom's voice, which is so precious! Their sense of hearing is developed very early on. Also, they can only visually focus several inches away, which is the perfect amount for them to focus in and study faces as we hold them. God knew what he was doing, didn't He? I am reminded of the Bible Passage:
Psalm 139:12-14
New International Version (NIV)
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
What scares me the most is the possibility of struggling to bond with the baby because of weepiness and hormones, or traumatic events that could take place in the Hospital, which would call for incubation or other extreme measures that would make it harder to bond physically because of time or placement.
Yuck! We have decided for the convenience of disposable diapers. My Mennonite ways cringe at the waste, but I cannot muster up the courage to do cloth diapers. I wish our society would make it easier to do cloth diapers. I have heard there are programs that pick up a sack of dirty diapers at your door and deliver clean cloth diapers every week. That seems like a rich luxury that is not feasible, but a lady can wish!
Hi Linda, great insight as you prepare for this wonderful journey of parenthood! I feel I can't leave without commenting about my own experience with BabyWise, though, and leaving you a word of caution to take it with a grain of salt. I, too, read the book and thought it wonderful. I guess for some people it works like a charm, but I haven't met any of them. In my own case I put Eli on a 3 hr feeding schedule way too early instead of meeting his very basic newborn need for milk on demand, and it resulted in my milk production decreasing because I was telling my body I only needed so much- and my poor baby was way underweight. I was forced to start supplementing with formula around 2 months because he simply want getting enough nutrition from me.
ReplyDeleteSorry, for some reason it cut me off and I couldn't type more on my phone.. As far as the sleep method, just remember that every baby is different and all respond differently to whatever you decide to do. The biggest danger I feel from reading that book is beating yourself up if things don't go according to how they say they should. If Micah isn't sleeping through the night at 2 months, don't think you are doing something wrong. Every child has their own agenda :). Anyhow, many blessings to you as you prepare for his arrival! God will give you the wisdom for each situation as you seek Him.. the journey is filled with much joy. :) ~Adriane
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your advice! I tend to agree with you! I feel like Motherly instincts are more important than ANY theory!
ReplyDelete