Confidence and Education

This Momma has had to put her Big Girl Panties on since we have last met.  In other words; I have learned to be an assertive Mom that fights for her son.  More specifically, his health!  

Just to give you a glimpse- This is a run down of my poor boy's medical conditions: 

Eczema

Colic

Cradle Cap

Blocked Tear Ducts

Eye Infection

Ear Infection

Staph Infection

Weak Gut Syndrome

Several Severe Allergies

Reflux

High Lead

Asthma?? 

This list now exists through tears, numerous doctor's visits, a doctor change, allergist visits, ER visits, and lab visits.  It was not an easy task to identify and treat these conditions.  It has been a horrible journey I would not wish on my worst enemy.  It is heart-wrenching to know something is wrong with your son, watch him suffer, and have the doctors dismiss it over and over again.  The feelings of helplessness were deep and hurtful.  Out of that hurt, I have learned!  

I want to share what my journey has taught me, and maybe it will help other Mommas struggling with health conditions and feeling lost in the medical world of doctors, tests, and big words.  

First, through this, I lost all respect for doctors and all they ignored with my son early on.  This ended up being the driving force behind my new-found assertive ways.  They did not seem to listen or know any information!  Over four times within his first six months, I went to the his pediatrician  with congestion, running nose, coughs, and a slight fever.  Antibiotics, more antibiotics, and more.  I kept going in with a "fix my child" attitude, which did not seem to actually fix a darn thing.  Why does this continue to come back?  This can't be right!  Or normal?  Why are you acting like this is not a problem, and I should just "chill".  My baby is hurting!  

I switched pediatricians, thinking that would "solve" his problems.  Nope.  Now what do I do?  No one is listening, giving me information, or even seems to care.  Antibiotics seemed to be their "go to", and I felt like the underlying issue was never resolved!  Antibiotics did not seem to help much, and it was a consistence stream of snot, eye infections, and sickness.  My baby could not catch a break.  

So what did I do?  Research!  We have a powerful tool in our generation that most before did not!  THE INTERNET!  We can research the heck out of our children's health concerns and come up with very viable solutions and an accurate hypothesis of what is medically wrong with our children!  My First Power Tool as a Mom!

Finally, I felt empowered for the first time.  I lost myself in article after article on babycenter.com, webmd, blogs, anything I could read!    I eventually concluded it might be something to do with allergies.  (Why couldn't the pediatricians SEE that?  It seemed so simple and easy to identify! )  I did not even go to my pediatrician!  I called an allergist and ENT the next day.  Several lab visits and a food journal later, YAY!  We found some answers!  

I did not wait for my pediatrician to tell me what to do- I did it.  I researched his conditions, and I did what needed to be done with no delay!  That is powerful, and that is being a Mom. 

I have learned that you do not go in a doctor's visit submissive with a "fix him" attitude.  You go in educated, with a well researched, and thought-out hypothesis that you very confidently tell your doctor.  Don't wait for your doctor to figure it out.  You figure it out and TELL you doctor what you know to be true.

Think of it this way, your doctor sees a small snapshot of your child.  He/she spends 15 minutes with your child every six months.  You see your baby every day all day!  Who knows better?  YOU DO!  Get some information and be in charge of your Child's doctor's visit.  Prepare and make lists.  I even printed out some resources and had some information at hand.  

I actually heard this explained very well in the book Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell.  He explained this exact same theory in one of his chapters.  He writes this attitude difference in the doctor's office of submissive or assertiveness  is explained by a divide in classes.  The high-class takes control and is the person in charge of the Doctor's visit, while the other classes are submissive under authority.  Very interesting!  Good book!  

I have learned to be in charge.  With my own health too.  If you go in educated and confident, you will successfully be in charge of your health instead of taking a frustrating back-seat spot of helplessness.  

Maybe that education and confidence can be used as powerful tools in other parts of my life?